Self Care Tips for Highly Sensitives
I was immediately enthralled within the first few minutes of watching. It was like they were describing me.
But it was Dr. Elaine Aron describing what it was like to hear the words “Highly Sensitive” for the first time in her life from her therapist.
Her documentary “Sensitive – The Untold Story” released in 2015 was a big part of what’s helped me understand myself as an HSP.
Hearing the words, ‘we think about things deeply, things touch us deeply, we feel things deeply‘, sucked me right in. I knew immediately I needed to watch this doc, and that it would help me.
I watched as Alanis Morrissette talked about her experience being a musician and being an HSP, and how she’s able to relate to her fans through her music. How many of her fans are HSPs so they’re able to share a deeply meaningful connection in her concerts.
I found myself nodding my head in agreement all the way through. Finally, FINALLY it’s all making sense.
What does it mean to be a Highly Sensitive Person, or HSP?
In my post “What’s the Cure for Being Highly Sensitive?” I go into detail about what it means to be highly sensitive. Definitely check it out for more about how I discovered I believe I’m an HSP.
The term ‘Highly Sensitive Person” is actually a term brought about by a genetic trait called Sensory Processing Sensitivity.
It’s a literal trait found in your DNA. According to Dr. Elaine Aron, Sensory Processing Sensitivity is a “genetically based trait associated with greater sensitivity and responsivity to environmental and social stimuli.”
Here are a few of the main traits of an HSP. This is not an exhaustive list that’s the same for everyone across the board, of course there are variations.
- Feel emotions very deeply and strongly
- Difficult to see violence on tv or in movies (in my case the news!!)
- Need downtime after lots of life and/or social stimulation
- Sensitive to noises, intense lights, strong smells
- More sensitive to subtleties in the environment
- Doing things at the last minute makes you feel out of sorts
What happens if HSPs don’t get adequate self-care?
Us HSPs can really be affected by not getting adequate self-care time in. Here are a few of the things that can happen when this need is not met.
- We can become easily annoyed by little things because we’re just so exhausted by our senses
- Tiredness and being drained to the point of fatigue and lethargy
- We can become overwhelmed to the point that it brings on headaches, migraines, sickness or even anxiety
- Our lives can become disorganized and disheveled, including our homes, our work areas, our cars
- Ultimately it can lead to a shut down. Complete overwhelm to the point of not being able to function in life
SELF-CARE TIPS FOR HIGHLY SENSITIVE PEOPLE
“Care but do not Carry”
I stumbled across a really great Tiktok video about functioning as an HSP by Matt Cama. He says to “Care but do not carry.”
I thought it was such an awesome way to describe how to manage our deep empathy. Because we care so deeply, it can cause us to hurt deeply as well.
Obviously there’s nothing wrong with caring for loved ones, friends, family or even co-workers and acquaintances. However it can be burdensome when caring becomes carrying.
Carrying can become heavy and it can weigh you down and wear you out.
It can cause sadness, depression, anxiety, sickness, it can wear on your body, mind and soul. Add to that the challenges you have in your own life, and you’ve got a huge situation there.
So I definitely recommend keeping this quote in mind.
Manage Sensitivity to Environments
HSPs can be way more sensitive to our surroundings than most people. We pick up on scents, changes in scenery, feelings and emotions.
We’re sensitive to your happiness, sadness, or depression. We soak up these subtleties like a sponge and it just envelopes us if we let it.
This is why it’s so important for us to be aware of our own feelings and thoughts so as not to get sucked into negativity and bad vibes. We can take it all on and it can drag us down.
Our day may’ve started out just fine, but then we get to our job and there’s complete chaos. Immediately we’re taking on this environment and it can completely overtake us.
If you want more work place tips, I have a chapter in my Introverts eBook about it. Many of my helpful tips for Introverts work well for HSPs also!
Of course we can’t and shouldn’t isolate ourselves, not at all. But it’s so important to be aware of your own feelings, learn how to know when you’re picking up on someone else’s, and make that distinction within yourself.
It’s so important to learn to maintain your own peace of mind, heart and emotion.
We Need Some Time to Breathe
Quiet time is so important for me that often I have to wake up pretty early in the morning to have some. Our family is so busy during the day and our home gets pretty lively with our little one.
HSPs definitely need some daily down time, especially after a big event or lots of socializing. It’s essential to our well being and being able to function with clarity and peace of mind.
If you notice you’ve been extremely busy, be sure to take some time to turn everything off and just relax for a while. Even if it’s only for a few minutes or you need to use a timer.
Try not to just go and go and go, you’ll wear your sensitive soul out! And believe me, I’m preaching to the choir.
Since HSPs can be overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, and strong smells, try fitting a little quiet time into your day. You can just sit in the quiet, or play some soft music.
Or use your quiet time to work on a hobby!
Sometimes I’ll drive in silence instead of being so quick to turn on the music. Sometimes my brain just needs a break.
Here are a few more ideas for your Quiet time:
- A relaxing bubble bath or hot shower
- Catch up on some reading; physical books, magazines, eBooks
- Go for a drive, a walk, or ride a bike
- Write in a journal
Limit or Eliminate Time in Toxic or Overwhelming Situations and Environments
Here are some examples of undesirable or negative situations HSPs should limit, if possible. I’m not saying never ever do these things and avoid it at all costs. I’m saying sometimes you have to know how much you can handle and how long you can be in certain environments, for your own mental health and all around wellness.
Time around toxic family members: This means family that likes to argue, fight, yell or scream at each other, bicker. Maybe they like to pick on you or talk about you and berate you. Any type of emotional, physical or drug abusers.
Abusive Work Environment: Maybe your boss belittles you or always has something negative to say to you about your performance. They’re never satisfied and maybe they overwork you and make you feel like you never do a go job.
Maybe they expect you to work late every day and on the weekends and never get rest or spend time with family. This is abuse.
Loud or Noisy Environments: Continuous loud noisy environments are so draining for HSPs. Obviously there are times when this can’t be avoided (a children’s birthday party at Chuck e Cheese, a wedding reception, concert). But it’s important to be aware of this.
Large Crowds: I love attending a good outdoor festival in the summer or a great concert at a large picturesque venue. Some festivals can get so crowded you can barely walk through it.
Though I love attending these types of events, it can sometimes be sensory overload for me and I leave feeling super drained. It’s always worth it to me, however I know I’ll need to take some time to recharge afterwards.
Planning for the Highly Sensitive is Essential
Doing things at the last minute or under pressure makes us HSPs feel overwhelmed. We need to be able to have sufficient time to mentally prepare for things. And by things, I mean everything.
Obviously sometimes this just isn’t possible because ya know, life.
BUT if at all possible, if you’re reading this and you’re not an HSP but you’re here because you want to understand us better, try to be aware of this and give us ample time to prepare for social situations. It helps to keep us at peace and functioning optimally.
If you’re an HSP try to know sometimes you will have to just roll with the punches and quickly adjust to a change in plans, it’s just a part of life.
Try to hone in on a little self care in those moments when you feel overwhelmed with an abrupt change.
Have a moment of stillness, step outside and take a deep breathe, put on some music, or say some affirmations. Tell yourself you got this!
It’s okay to keep away from violence in entertainment
My Mom fusses at me for not watching the news to this day. (Love you Mom!) I know it’s not good, but my sensitive heart can’t take it.
The news is flooded with sad, depressing stories about violence, murder, fatal car wrecks, natural disasters that overtake communities, I mean it really is horrible for me and I can’t stand it.
Generally if something has a good storyline and a great hero I may still watch a movie or tv show that has some violence.
Like Game of Thrones was crazy violent but the storyline (and the costumes and cinematography) was just so ridiculously amazing, I was still able to watch. It helps to know it’s not real, ya know? No one was harmed in the process!
However by all means, know that this is a normal trait experienced by HSPs. I can’t tell you it’s okay to not watch the news because sometimes it’s necessary, but I can tell you it’s okay to keep away from something that grieves your heart and makes it difficult to go on with your day in peace.
So, do you think you’re an HSP? How did you learn this about yourself?
Let me know in the comments!
For more about Sensitives and Introverts, check out these articles:
What’s the cure for being Highly Sensitive?
How do you know if you’re an Introvert?
40 Creative Outlets and Hobbies for Introverts
The Absolute BEST Self-Care Tips for Highly Sensitive People
