Insightful Differences of Extroverts vs. Introverts

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Insightful Differences Between Extroverts vs. Introverts

I’d cling to my grandmother whom I knew and loved when I’d go with her to a relatives house.

I didn’t let her leave my sight if I could help it. Because who were these strangers who kept trying to get me to talk?

I remember as a child, people would talk to my parents about me like I couldn’t hear them.

They’d assumed I didn’t talk because I wasn’t loud and boisterous like the other kids.

I knew from a very young age that I was different.

Later on I learned what I wasn’t. I learned I was definitely not an extrovert, and that I probably never would be.

I learned that there was some shell I apparently took residence in and it was not okay for me to dwell there. Unequivocally I must depart from this shell that had me in a chokehold.

Wish I could say when I became an adult, I grew out of being an Introvert. That I’ve come out of my caterpillar cocoon and now I’ve fully moved into extroverted butterfly status.

Though I do feel like I flutter about through life as it slaps me around every now and again, so that part is accurate. Other than that, I’m still pretty much a tried and true Introvert.

I’ve learned how to embrace it though and learned to lean into being my true authentic self. I’ve found this to be the best way to really deal with it and life has gone way better for me embracing it instead of putting on an act.

I think there’s a reason why authenticity is such a buzz word these days. People are discovering the power in it, and I think it’s great!

Now on to this conversation about Introverts and Extroverts.

I Wasn’t Going to Do an Introverts vs. Extroverts Post

I really tried hard not to do a Introvert vs. Extrovert post because I felt like there are so many good ones all over the internet already.

But I kind of changed my mind because well, we’re all unique individuals and we all have our own unique understandings and experiences.

And I figure why not have a good post stating clear differences to help people have a better understanding of each from my perspective.

I really don’t talk much about extroverts on this blog because it’s intended as more of a voice for introverts who often go unheard and unnoticed.

I feel like the world in inundated already with extrovert ideology, and it’s deeply entrenched into our society here in America.

In my book Life as a Quiet Introvert, I talk about how America got this way. How it got to be a place where it’s all about extroverts, and introverts are to manipulate themselves into fitting into the mold of an extroverted society.

No matter how much it goes against who we naturally are, we’re literally forced to squander who we are, ignore our natural instincts and be like everyone else. Because apparently, everyone else is extroverted.

An Extroverted Society

In my quest and determination to understand myself better, learning how society got to be all about extroverts played a big part.

Like, I sincerely wanted to know, how did it become all about extroverts in the first place?

The book “Quiet,” by Susan Cain was the pivot for me. Not only did she help me understand myself, she also introduced to me the concept of “The Extrovert Ideal.”

I want to share an excerpt from my book from the chapter entitled “Extroverts and the Extrovert Ideal,” which talks about this.

“In Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, he talks about his journey to success.

In the early 1900s-1920s, Dale Carnegie made learning public speaking not just a popular topic of interest because of his public speaking courses.

Public speaking began to penetrate and influence our society like we’d never seen before. It became important to learn public speaking, perfect it, and use it as a tool to gain followers.

To build businesses. Which would in turn build our economy.

Birth of the Traveling Salesman

The 1920s also birthed the traveling salesman, and this coupled with public speaking caused a new economic surge in America.

It was learned that having excellent public speaking skills could get you generous sales.

Honing in on speaking well and having good business acumen began to become the undercurrent of business. This was part of the economic boom in our economy, and that boom has coined those years as “The Roaring 20s.”

Personality traits like charisma, charm, boldness, outspokenness, sometimes bull-headed stubbornness, exemplified strength.

Traits that made you a strong leader that others could and would follow. Traits that would cause businesses to thrive and make money.

Can you guess which personality type closely aligns with these now preferred and celebrated traits?

Having an outgoing, extroverted personality has become part of the fabric sewn into what is deemed the success of American society.

Extroverted, Big Personality, Charisma = Success, money, power, strength

Introverted, Quiet, Reserved = Unsuccessful, undesirable, ineffective

This is not a personality competition.

In order to understand where we are, we have to understand how we got here. I personally don’t believe one is better or worse than the other.

I believe as a society we should look at research to better understand these two personality types and adjust and update the infrastructure of our belief systems, business practices, school systems etc.

An introvert can be just as great of a leader as an extrovert. And I believe introverts should be celebrated and rewarded for their strengths just as extroverts are.“

Strengths and Challenges of Extroverts

Strengths of an Extrovert

Don’t have a problem being vocal and speaking up about things
Always have something to say and often good at quick come backs
People know when they see you, fun is ahead
You’re often the life of the party
Have no problem being the center of attention
Communication is easy for you
Easily placed in leadership situations

Challenges of an Extrovert

Pressure to be “on” at all times, even if you don’t really want to be
Sometimes your words come out before completely thinking things through and weighing the consequences
You need to be around people, this is where you feel the most energized
Can come across as overly confident
May have difficulty with listening well

Strengths and Challenges of Introverts

Strengths of an Introvert

Keenly observant to surroundings
Pay attention to detail
Comfortable being alone and draw strength from it
You’re passionate about what you believe in
You’re able to connect deeply in meaningful relationships
You put your whole heart into your relationships
Great listeners
You’re loyal to your person/s

Challenges of an Introvert

People drain your energy
Don’t like to be the center of attention
Don’t do well with last minute plans
Networking, talking and adjusting to new people
Large crowds of people and excessive noise
Overthinking
Often overlooked because people think you have nothing to say

What Energizes Extroverts vs. Introverts

A good basic way to understand what energizes extroverts vs. introverts, is extroverts plug in to recharge, introverts unplug to recharge.

Extroverts plug in to recharge, introvert unplug to recharge.

What Energizes Extroverts

Socializing and being around other people
Talking about their feelings and/or problems and finding solutions
Being the center of attention
Seeking out new experiences and developing new interests
Being in groups of people
Having a full schedule

What Energizes Introverts

Alone time
Doing a favorite hobby
Talking one on one with a favorite person
Fresh air, nature

I once did a survey online and asked my Introvert friends what was they’re greatest need. The answer from almost every one of them (with a few exceptions) was alone time.

Time to themselves. So sure there are other ways for Introverts to get some energy, but the biggest way is simply to unplug and spend time alone.

Extroverts + Introverts = All of Us

There are some pretty major differences between extroverts and introverts, but two things can be true at the same time. We’re still all the same.

Neither is better than the other and we are all human.

Our differences should be celebrated, and not tolerated or shamed. Understanding our differences should help us all to empathize with each other and really see where we’re all coming from.

My personal mission is to raise awareness of societies gravitational pull of pushing down and often even humiliating introverts for being who they naturally are. And to help people understand them before judging them and forcing them to change.

What we all really want is to be accepted and loved just way we are. And we want to be free to be our authentic selves, unequivocally, and unapologetically.

For more on introverts, check out these posts:

3 Ways to Deal with Your Extrovert Coworkers that Won’t Stop Talking to You

Things Introverts Hate vs. Things Introverts Love

Why Introverts Don’t Like People