What's the cure for being Highly Sensitive?

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How to Get Over Being Highly Sensitive

You’re being too sensitive.

Get out of your feelings.

You need to develop a thick skin.

Don’t wear your feelings on your sleeve.

You let your feelings get hurt so easily, they didn’t mean it like that.

Were these triggering for you to read like they were for me?

I’m pretty new to the discovery of being highly sensitive, so I honestly hesitated in putting this out there while I’m still figuring this out. But I always try to be as honest and transparent as I can in the hopes that I help someone.

The question is, how do you cure this inconvenient experience? How do you prevent it from affecting you every day of your life?

How I Began Learning about Being Highly Sensitive

I greet my new client and ask her all the standard questions I ask before I begin to work on her eyebrows.

All the questions clear just fine which technically clear me for waxing her brows, however there are some apparent signs that tell me that this is not going to go well.

One, her skin appears to be pretty red. I ask her about this and she states this is just the way her skin is. However in every training I’ve ever undergone as an Esthetician, redness is a sign of an underlying problem.

Two, when I begin cleansing and prepping her brow area, I feel heat coming from her.

Three, and this is the most clear to me, and it may sound strange to you, but…

There is a strong electricity feeling I get every time I come near her.

It’s so intense that I don’t even really want to touch her.

I actually felt it immediately, right at “Hello.” Before I even came near her eyebrows.

Thing is, this isn’t the only time I’ve felt this feeling, there are countless others and a few I can tell you right off the top of my head because the experience was so intense.

But I digress.

My HSP Story Continued…

I commence to working on her brows, but I feel so strongly that this woman is completely stressed, overwhelmed, and is trying desperately to find some way to take care of herself.

Hence the probable reason why she’s in my chair at this moment at my Brow Bar.

I feel an overwhelming sense of compassion for her. I’m utterly and completely torn.

I don’t really want to continue the service, but I continue anyway because technically my you-know-what is covered because her paperwork is signed, and I know no matter what my amazing boss will have my back if something happens.

It seemed all may’ve been well until I placed the last strip of wax. When I pulled it up and continued working, I noticed some of her skin lifted with the wax.

This is actually pretty common when clients don’t disclose important information because they just want to get their brows done. It’s usually information that will tell me they aren’t a candidate for my services, but they don’t realize that what I experienced with my client’s skin lifting, is the reason why it’s important for them to be honest.

I make sure to tell her what happened and show her in the mirror.

She assures me though that it’s fine because it happens every time she gets her brows done.

As an Esthetician, having a clients’ skin lift if almost a cardinal sin!

I tell her how to care for the area, send her on her way, and then think to myself, “what just happened here?”

The Meanings of Unique HSP Experiences

I have many “what just happened here” moments just like this and I’ve discussed them with my Hubby, my Parents and God.

This questioning has lead me straight into learning about being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and also for me, an Empath.

I don’t really firmly claim these titles. But I use the education available about these traits to help me understand this part of myself. And it’s been soo helpful to me. So I want to share what I’ve learned with you!

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The Genetic Effects of Being Highly Sensitive

I can really get off into real rabbit trails when it comes to learning new things that interest me. It’s actually a classic Introvert trait, I overthink quite a lot.

I said that to say, I don’t want this to become a big scientific litany of me droning on and on about science. I’ve always desired for my blog to be more practical and helpful in that nothing I post requires extremely deep thought. Just light info that’s here to help you, and you can refer back to it whenever you need to!

Cracking the code, and getting scientific.. just a little

When I started looking into the genetic effects of being Highly Sensitive, I ran into info about Sensory-Processing Sensitivity (SPS). I could feel myself drifting off into scientific-land pushing me onto a rabbit trail because I started thinking about why it took so long for people to discover the significance of these types of traits.

I found a fairly recent article online in a medical journal that’s dated 2018, just three years ago! It’s called “The functional highly sensitive brain: a review of the brain circuits underlying sensory-processing sensitivity and seemingly related disorders.”

It’s really interesting in that it answers a question that you may be wondering: If I have HSP, does that mean I have autism? Or Schizophrenia? Or PTSD?

The answer in this article is no, it’s been determined that SPS (or HSP) is a stand alone trait. It has nothing to do with autism, Schizophrenia, or PTSD. It’s a a “genetically based trait associated with greater sensitivity and responsivity to environmental and social stimuli.”

It’s a genetic trait had by 15-20% of the population.

And there are actually many genes that make up your propensity to be highly sensitive.

Why did it take so long for information to be presented about HSPs?

I remember growing up asking my parents why I’m a quiet person. They’d tell me well Erica, it’s probably just genetic. So I do remember having that basic understanding that I’m the way I am due to heredity.

If you’ve not read any of my other posts, I’m a quiet introvert, and it’s been a struggle for me coming to terms with who I am. So I share pieces of my journey here!

The fact that now there’s a name attached to these parts of me has been so helpful, as it’s helped me to see I’m not alone. There are so many others who feel the exact same things I do.

There’s actually been many years of study dedicated to introversion and HSP. It’s just that in recent years there’s been a surge and uptick in findings and interest. The term “Highly Sensitive Person” wasn’t even coined until 1996 via Elaine Aron’s book, “The Highly Sensitive Person.”

I’m so glad that HSP is gaining some traction with regards to recognition by the general public.

Here is one more really good article on Sensory Processing Sensitivity: New Research on Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS)

The Traits of Being a Highly Sensitive Person

This isn’t an exhaustive list by any means, just a general idea of some common traits many Highly Sensitive people have. They aren’t mutually exclusive and they vary from person to person.

Easily overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, strong smells
Doing things at the last minute or under pressure makes you feel out of sorts
You avoid violence on tv or in movies
Need time to decompress after lots of life stimulation whether social or just being busy
Limit undesirable situations that are overwhelming
Strong emotions and empathy; feel emotions very deeply
Sensitivity to subtleties that are often unnoticed by others

Highly Sensitive Person vs. Empath

Going back to the woman sitting at my Brow Bar. Remember how I felt that strong intense feeling of her stress and overwhelm?

I take that all in.

Yep, all of it. I absorb it in just like a sponge. Like, literally, almost like osmosis.

Now imagine what it’s like to go home at the end of the night.

I have my own tiredness to deal with just from a regular days’ work. However on top of my own tiredness, I’ve taken on my clients’ stress and overwhelm. Now, I may not have had stress and overwhelm to begin with, however I do now because I’ve taken it from my client!

So now, not only am I a little tired from work, I also now have stress and overwhelm to deal with.

So now think of what it’s like having these experiences over and over, and not understanding what’s happening, why it’s happening nor what it means.

Yep, it was quite frustrating. I love being an Esthetician, however at the time I didn’t know anything about what it means to be highly sensitive, nor empathic.

The difference between being highly sensitive and being an empath is that empaths absorb other people’s feelings like a sponge.

You can be highly sensitive and not be empathic. However you can’t be an empath without being highly sensitive. Being empathic is one step further than being highly sensitive.

My Favorite Resources for Understanding HSP

Because the study of HSP is fairly new, there aren’t thousands upon thousands of books available on this subject. However there are quite a few resources available now that haven’t been in the past.

Elaine Aron Ph.D. and Judith Orloff MD are a great place to start.

There is also a really great documentary called Sensitive: The Untold Story spearheaded by Dr. Aron which showcases an interview with fellow HSP, pop music icon Alanis Morrissette among some of the stories told.

Also two really good websites dedicated to sensitives that are worth a visit are Highly Sensitive Refuge, and Introvert Dear.

So What’s the Cure for Being Highly Sensitive?

Well, if you can’t tell by now, here it is: There is no cure.

Being Highly Sensitive is a genetic trait. That doesn’t mean you can’t make adjustments in order to cope with it. It’s actually pretty necessary to make modifications in your life to function optimally every day.

I think it’s important to know and realize that if being highly sensitive is in your DNA, it’s a part of your genetic makeup. It’s a part of what makes you who you are.

Just as your genetic makeup decided how many hairs are on your head, it also decided you’d be highly sensitive.

Hopefully coming to terms with this will help you as you continue to learn more and more about this part of who you are.

Please feel free to drop me a comment and/or leave a resource for me or anyone else who may read this!