How to Handle Introvert FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
As an Introvert, you’ve had your share of FOMO, or fear of missing out. Your personality causes a natural daily challenge. It’s a constant battle of social battery charging and depletion.
When you decide to attend social events with a depleted social battery, you end up miserable and wishing you’d stayed home.
When you decide to stay in, you’re wishing you’d gone because you see the Instagram stories and it looks like your friends are having the time of their lives.
How do you get over FOMO as an Introvert?
An Introvert taking on new opportunities
New to the Los Angeles area, I was faced with so many new opportunities. If you’re not familiar with my story, I lived in Los Angeles for 3 years where I was pursuing my music career.
It wasn’t always easy to know which ones to take and which ones to fall back on. And being an introvert made it all the more challenging.
I’d had my music profile up on a popular music networking website that never really got me any jobs. But I just left my profile up because you just never know what could happen or who could stumble across it.
So when I got a seemingly legit proposal for session vocals for an Independent project, reluctantly I responded.
I’m so glad I took the chance and responded and took the opportunity because I did get a nice check for that job, and I gained more experience to add to my music resume.
Now, I definitely didn’t take every opportunity that came my way. But this was one example of a time when I did take a chance to work with some new people that I’d never met before. Thankfully it worked out!
Extroverts seem to have more fun
*Comparison is the thief of joy
*Looks can be deceiving
*Things aren’t always what they seem
*The grass isn’t greener on the other side
Get my drift? I know it’s tempting to envy extroverts.
The life of the party types who get all the attention.
The Charismatic types whom everyone seems to love effortlessly.
The ones who always have just the right words to say at just the right time.
The Funny types who win over entire rooms with one hilarious quip.
It’s important to know that we are all the same. Even though our personalities may be starkly different, we all have the same struggles in varying degrees.
Us introverts struggle with feeling left out, while extroverts struggle with always having to be “on” all the time, even if they’re really not happy.
Introverts can struggle with loneliness, while extroverts struggle with always needing to be around people to feel “alive.”
It may seem that extroverts have more fun, but the question to ask yourself is, what is fun to you? It’s subjective and very personal to each individual.
Be honest with yourself and really figure that out before you go wishing you had a completely different personality than the one you naturally have.
Is fun ordering takeout and binging your favorite shows at home?
Is fun going for a bike ride alone?
Is fun going to a concert with a friend?
Just because it looks fun to do certain things and go to certain places, that doesn’t mean it’s fun to you.
I’m not saying don’t try new things because you absolutely should try new things. Just be aware of what situations make you completely uncomfortable and zap your joy and energy.
And be aware of what you enjoy and what you personally consider to be fun.
Life’s too short to go around doing things just because everyone else is doing it. Find your own joy!
Bring on the FOMO: Turning down opportunities
I remember another situation in Los Angeles where I’d met a new friend at a church I visited.
She was very much in tune with the “party” scene, and she was convinced that was the best way to meet people that were plugged into the entertainment world in LA.
She hit me up while I was at work and working a grueling 9-5. She invited me to meet her at a party in Hollywood.
If you’ve never been to Los Angeles, it is absolutely massive and spread out wide. Every place you go involves a lengthy drive.
It was something I never did really get used to, as I was born and raised in the midwest, in Metro-Detroit, MI. The entirety of Metro-Detroit still does not equate to the hugeness of Los Angeles.
Anyway, I left work in Long Beach, went home and changed, then headed for the 405.
Whole time I’m battling in my mind about this opportunity because I don’t want to miss the chance to meet someone that could completely change my life forever. But I also wasn’t feeling my absolute best and was extremely tired.
I could feel myself edging into migraine land, and that is a place I try to avoid like the plague. I wanted to try this new experience, but at the same time my body was telling me something different.
As I eased onto the freeway ramp, suddenly I knew what I had to do. I had to text my friend and let her know I would not be able to join her after all.
But I’m missing opportunities
There have been times where I genuinely struggled with whether I made the right choice to go out and be social, or stay in and recharge.
To take a new job opportunity or decide it’s not the best choice for me because the drive was way too far and it’d drain the life out of me.
Since I’ve been in this earth suit for a while now, I’ve had the chance to live into some really unbelievably great opportunities that I’d only dreamed of.
The only reason these opportunities came my way is by continuing to live my truth. Continuing to do what I love, and put things out there that I hope will change the world and make it better.
Being true to myself, and really only trying to be the best me I can be.
I honestly don’t know if there’s really such a thing as “missed opportunities.”
Sometimes we think things should happen at a certain time in a certain way. And if we don’t move just right, certain opportunities will be gone forever.
Personally I just believe God is bigger than an opportunity we “missed,” and he’s able to bring things full circle.
There is nothing like the love and wholeness we can experience in God.
He makes all things work together for good (Romans 8:28), and in him there is nothing missing or broken.
5 Practical Tips for Handling Introvert FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
- Firstly, fear is not real. Fear is false evidence appearing real. Do not allow yourself to get wrapped up in fear. Faith is so much better, and way more productive. Have faith and know there are plenty more opportunities where that one came from if you decide not to participate. You have so much more life to live.
- Take a look within: learn what’s fun to you. Always remember the things you enjoy doing most. This way when opportunities come along it’ll be a lot easier to decide if they are something for you, or if you should pass.
- No regrets. They take way too much energy to maintain, and it’s such a negative emotion. It’ll just drag you down and we don’t have time for that. Use your energy to build yourself up instead.
- Dive into your hobbies. Keep you mind occupied and tend your own garden.
- Take a chance and go out sometimes. Can’t deal with FOMO and fear of missing out if you actually do decide to participate. If you can, be sure to drive yourself so you can leave when you’re ready to leave. Be wise and know your limits. Don’t force yourself to stay past when you’re ready to leave.
Concluding thoughts on FOMO
Being in tune with your passions and the things that really matter to you will help you know when to stay home in your own little introvert bubble, or when to take a chance and explore new things.
Also being in tune with your body, how you’re feeling physically and mentally helps you make those decisions as well.
I’ve learned that leaning into my gifts, the things I enjoy, the things I love to do, the things I feel help me make a difference in this world; that is what helps me decide how to maneuver through life and when to come out of my Introvert bubble.
Hey did you know I wrote a book just for you? It’s called Life as a Quiet Introvert: Learning, Accepting and Being Comfortable With Who You Are, you can check it out here!
Been wondering if you’re an Introvert and you’re just not sure? Check out the Am I an Introvert Quiz!
For more on Introverts, check out these posts:
Incredibly Magical Quotes Every Introvert Must See
3 Life-Changing Ways to Deal with Loneliness as an Introvert
The Best Self-Care Tips & Ideas for Introvert Women
Thank you SO much for this. I struggle with FOMO frequently. I’m happiest when I’m alone in my room where it’s quiet and peaceful. Then I go online and see people appearing to have the time of their lives and I think, “What am I doing?” I feel guilty, like I’m defective and life is passing me by. My sweet boyfriend tells me that if being alone at home makes me happy then there’s nothing wrong with it!
You’re so welcome Stacey! Aw your bf is absolutely right friend. Thank you for commenting! ♥
If you’re a true introvert, jow is it possible to make friends? Or Is it another issue when you’re the type of person who doesn’t easily make friends?
Hey friend, no I wouldn’t say it’s another issue, it’s true that making friends can be challenging for introverts.
The best piece of advice I can give you for making friends is do something you love with other people. It’s a great way to meet like minded people that enjoy doing the same things as you. For example if you like reading, join a book club. If you like singing, join a choir or singing group. If you like swimming join a swim team, fitness, join a fitness class.
If you sit in your home day in and day out, or go to work and come home, you’re not really meeting new like minded people. Introverts love talking about our passions, use that to your advantage. If you’re in a setting doing something you love with other people, start with talking about what you’re there for. Friendships have a great chance of blossoming from there. I hope this helps!