Christian Dating: A Simple Guide to Waiting on "The One"

Christian Dating: When You’re Waiting on “The One”

If you’re growing tired of being single and still waiting on “The One,” it can be such a challenging time, and it can be super frustrating.

You feel like you’re ready, and all your ducks are in a row. You have a place to live, a job, and a savings. You’ve learned how to manage your finances, how to cook and clean.

You’ve read all the singles books, learned how to be happy alone, and you stay busy.

You have a great relationship with God, your family and friends. But still, there’s just one thing missing: the one companion that you will enjoy spending the rest of your life with.

You question God, and you’re okay with not knowing the how, but the one question that he doesn’t answer is when? When will it finally happen?

There are times in life when you just don’t have the answers. You’re waiting and waiting, and the thing you want to happen just isn’t happening. There are plenty of things we can control in life, but there are some things we just can’t.

Here are 2 great tips on waiting well, when it’s the only choice you have.

1. Confess the scriptures and give thanks to God while you wait

These scriptures help me a lot when i’m waiting on God:

Prov 10:24 The desire of the righteous shall be granted.

Psalms 84:11 No good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.

God is not withholding your husband-to-be from you. He may withhold bad things, but never good things.

When you feel an attack of doubt or sadness because it feels like your desire may never be fulfilled, say these scriptures out loud. And then thank God by faith for it! This shows Him (and you) that you trust Him!

You can say things like, “Thank you for my husband God! He is amazing and wonderful. He loves me like Christ loves the church! He is handsome, and intelligent. He makes me laugh and I’m so glad we make each other happy.”

Thank him like it’s already done! You’d be amazed at how quickly this can lift your spirits.

2. Put some action behind your faith

James 2:26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.

Years ago I bought the car I have now, with the life I have now in mind.

There was no wedding on the horizon, no fiancee yet, but I used my faith because I knew I wanted a family.

I knew my family would need a 4-door vehicle to get a baby in and out of the back seat. I also knew I wanted a smooth riding vehicle for my family. I had no clue if I’d still have my car by the time I got married, but I didn’t care.

Now 10 years later (yep, my car is still ticking!), me and hubby are getting our 18 month old in and out of his car seat in the back of my 4 door sedan. The same sedan I bought with no wedding in sight!

I never told anyone why I wanted the type of car I bought. I just kept it between me and God!

You don’t have to do what I did, and you certainly don’t have to tell anyone what you’re doing to activate your faith.

You can just keep it between you and God, and He will lead and guide you as you continue to acknowledge Him.

There are lots of things you can do to put action behind your faith. Here are a few ideas:

Faith Action Ideas While Dating

Buy some pieces of lingerie to put in your hope chest
Learn some new recipes and find the meals you cook best
Start some Pinterest boards for your future wedding, home decor ideas, recipes, home making, marriage tips etc.
Start a wedding planning scrapbook to keep ideas in; this is the one I bought years ago, Martha Stewart’s Keepsake Wedding Planner
Why not start saving some money for your wedding?
Read books, listen to podcasts, journal, watch encouraging videos

Journaling Your Thoughts

I’ve been a journaler since I started writing, thanks to my amazing Mom! I mean I could barely spell and I was keeping a journal at 5 and 6 years old!

What did a 5 year old write about? Well about “riddeng my byke”, and “playeng wit my brudder” mainly, haha! But I digress…

I’ve found journaling to be therapeutic for me in my life. Sometimes I write prayers to God, sometimes I vent. Sometimes I write things God is teaching me, and other times I write things that have happened in my life that I don’t want to forget.

I don’t write every single day, but some people do. Journaling has helped me tremendously, I suggest that everyone keeps one!

There are many kinds of journals but I’m not too picky. As long as it’s college ruled, pretty and well made, it’s a winner in my book! I don’t buy journals online because I want to be able to touch them and see how they feel, but you totally can buy them online!

You can find some beautiful ones at your local bookstore, but here are some of my favorite places to find them: Target, Walmart, Anthropologie, Books a Million, Papyrus.

My Pre-Marital Quadruple Life Changing Book Series

Right before my husband and I got married, the Lord lead me to read 4 specific books. I ended up reading them all in a series, back to back. It was like he was breathing his life into every single book and he was speaking directly to my heart. Downloading tidbits of information that he knew I’d need to know before we got married.

These are the books I read, and I highly recommend them, they are awesome and they helped me so much:

What these books taught me was to make sure I know my purpose. To make sure I know who I am in Christ, and know that my destiny is in Him.

God taught me that happiness is not brought to me by another person. Happiness is within myself. I can choose to be happy regardless of my circumstances. I had to understand that power was within me and with God.

Had I not been introduced to these lessons prior to marriage, I know without a doubt it would’ve affected it.

I would be looking to my husband to constantly make me happy. And if he does something to make me upset (which is inevitable and normal in every relationship), my world would be crushed because he’d be my source. My source for fulfillment, joy, peace etc. And that’s not his job, that is way too much responsibility and pressure to put on a human being. Humans aren’t perfect.

Perfection is in God.

God is my source. He strengthens me, enables me, leads me and guides me. He gives me peace in the middle of storms. That is what God does for me. And no man can ever fill His shoes, no matter how perfect you think he may be.

I found the Holy Grail of Books on Thriving as a Single Woman

One author who helped me tremendously in the beginning of my single journey was Michelle McKinney Hammond. I was a bit of a late bloomer in that I didn’t begin dating until my college years.

Although I got a good foundation from church and my parents, I was away from home and needed more in depth teaching on how to date as a young woman.

When I discovered Michelle McKinney Hammond it was like I’d found a gold mine! Many of the things she talked about weren’t talked about in church, so I devoured many of her books, one after the other.

She shares a lot about being a woman, the power of femininity, being a lady in waiting, taking care of your home, yourself and so much more. She has written so many books so you have lots to choose from. These are a few that I read:

Courting vs. Dating

I did read some books that gave controversial advice about courting and how it’s better than dating. Personally I think this just complicates things, and I feel you should be lead by the peace of God.

If you have peace in your heart about going in a certain direction, that means more than just following some rules someone else followed to get them to the altar. Generally most people know about “dating” and it doesn’t make you a better Christian if you do “courting.”

I will be honest and say I read I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris back in the day, and it got me so confused! He chronicles how he met and married his wife by courting her and not dating her. I mean it was great to read someone’s love story, and it was beautifully written. But it just never really sat well with me. (He’s actually divorced now, no shade intended, just want to be honest and let you know.)