I’ve battled within myself about tackling this topic online. Yet… here I am.
If you’re asking yourself, “What can I do to help?” This is for you.
I don’t know what’s taken people so long to see what’s been happening. For many people it’s easy to ignore, because racism just isn’t your reality.
The fact of the matter is black people have been demonized, and dehumanized for years and years in this country and beyond. And George Floyd’s death opened a dam that’s been waiting to explode.
How have I been dealing? I’ve honestly just been sitting in this. Allowing myself to feel the feelings. And praying for peace at the same time.
This hurts. It hurts in a way you can’t describe.
And to hear so many of my white brothers and sisters say some of these things has been terrible to say the least.
Racism is dead
What are they trying to do go back to the 60s? Racism ended years ago. We were making so much progress and now look. They’re tearing it all down again.
Um, no. No it did not. Racism did not die. Racism is alive and well. The denial of racism does not negate the fact that it still lives. Sure we’ve made some progress. But we have a long way to go.
Get over it already
Just… no. Don’t ever say that. Don’t say it to your family, don’t say it to your friends, don’t say it in the workplace… you get the point. Just don’t ever say it.
They’re always playing the race card
I don’t know where this statement came from but this is not even possible. How do you play race like it’s a card in a game? This is the life we live every day, it’s not a card to be played.
I’m not racist, my parents aren’t racist, I didn’t grow up racist
Even if this is true, what does this have to do with anything? How does this fix the problem? Denying that there is a problem does not help anything. The problem remains while you say, “I’m not racist.” How does that help fix anything?
It’s under the blood of Jesus, it’s covered
No, no, no, no. This is one of the worst things you can say.
What do you say to someone with an open wound? Oh it’s covered. It’s under the blood of Jesus. We don’t need to clean it out, sew it up and let it heal. For what? Jesus paid the price for this already. Get over it!
See how crazy that sounds? Just… no.
I came across a post on Facebook by David W. Swanson, and I wanted to address a question he had in his comments. This a response from someone on my friends list. I don’t know her personally, but it turned out through corresponding with her that she goes to a church I used to attend.
Oh just ignore them. They need to let this go. It’s just the enemy. It’s the devil. It’s a spiritual fight, so we don’t need to do anything. God is fighting for us.
Every one of these statements is like a gut punch to every single black person you may know.
If you’re saying this in your churches. If you’re a leader, and you’re saying this to your close friends and family? Let me be the one to break it to you: you are a HUGE part of this problem. HUGE.
Silence in your church about racism and police brutality
Even worse, if you have not heard a peep from your church, your church leaders, or you yourself are a pastor and you’ve said nothing about George Floyd’s death or police brutality against black people, why? How?
Don’t you understand that you have the power to make the biggest impact for change in this country and in your community?
If you’re not moved with compassion about the plight of black people, you should really do some searching within yourself, and think about why you aren’t. Because I can promise you that God is moved with compassion for his hurting children. (Matthew 9:36) Why aren’t you?
Your black members are in the midst of despair, and you choosing not to say a word about what’s happening is a slap in their face. It’s a slap that I’ve personally felt, over and over again. And it hurts!
Because this is your church family. And you want your family to empathize with your pain. And when it goes ignored, it feels like betrayal.
Because you think all this time I’ve been here, I thought this was my family. These are the people that love me and want me. Then when they say nothing, it shows you they aren’t who you thought they were.
Please. Don’t be apart of the problem. Be apart of the solution.
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What can I do to help?
1. Please don’t ask us what you can do to help, educate yourself
Why? We. Are. Tired. We’ve been trying to tell you for years, years, YEARS this is still a problem.
This is the life we live. Every single day. I’m the wife to a black husband. The mother to a black son. I AM A BLACK WOMAN. This is my reality.
You have no idea how painful it can feel, and likely never will. Do you know what it feels like to talk through an open wound? Maybe you can compare it to that if that helps?
There are books, on top of books, on top of books, on top of movies, on top of documentaries that talk about systemic racism, the impact of slavery on black people, how difficult it is to make it in this world as a black person, mass incarceration, every black struggle you can think of. Please educate yourself.
Currently my Husband and I just started watching 13th on Netflix (eye-opening and heartbreaking at the same time), and I’m reading “White Fragility,” by Robin Diangelo which is excellent. But there is exhaustive information and data available everywhere.
2. Um, don’t be racist.
Just don’t. Start with yourself. Check yourself. Do some soul searching.
Do you make racist comments or tell racist jokes to your family and friends?
Do you personally not even look at resumes that have obviously black names on them?
Do you ask if there will be black people at certain events?
Do you judge people solely by their skin color?
Do you purposely not go to certain restaurants even though you like the food because there are black people there?
Do you know someone that can help you with something but you won’t ask them because they’re black?
Do you not allow someone to lead a group or training because they’re black?
These things are racist guys. They just are.
This is not an all inclusive list, just some questions to help you start priming the pump.
Go to the restaurant with the food you like. Go to that festival, coffee shop, or event that you’ve always wanted to go to. This is how change starts.
Change starts with you.
3. Start with your own family and friends.
Teach your children about racism. Correct wrong thinking when you see it and hear it. Speak up when you hear your family or friends using racial slurs. Tell them it’s wrong. Don’t let it slide.
I don’t care how old they are, there is a nice way to tell an elder, “Grandpa you shouldn’t say that about black people, that’s racist.” I mean, whatever you need to do. Use your own voice and speak out to your loved ones.
Share some of the resources you’ve found that helped you become an agent for change with your friends and family. Tell them, “You know I just watched a documentary called 13th on Netflix. You should watch it because it really helped me understand a lot of things about the black community.”
You be the spark to put the fire under your friends and family to change their ways of thinking.
4. Be a voice in your own community.
It has been so powerful to see so many white brothers and sisters (people of all colors) joining in the protests. It just brings me to tears to see so many of you, all around the world, standing with us. Just please make sure you bring that same energy to your own communities.
Bring that energy to your community organizations. Bring that energy to the polls when you vote. This is what will bring change to your own community, where you live, at home.
Bring that energy to the grocery store if you see someone being mistreated because of the color of their skin.
Bring it with you to church. Ask why you see no culture or color in your own church. And CHANGE IT.
Bring that energy to restaurants, in your schools, in your jobs.
Bring. That. Same. Energy. This is where you can make an impact.
Donating money is good. But if you get nothing else out of this post:
Making an impact in your own community is where you can make big, huge changes, all around this world.
5. Hire black people in your companies, churches and organizations, and listen to them.
Hire black people in your companies. Listen when they tell you nope, don’t do that it’s racist. Nope, don’t say that, it’s racist. Don’t ignore their input. LISTEN. And make the necessary adjustments.
If you’ve ever watched the talk show “The Real,” you’ll hear Lonnie Love talk about “Jamal the Intern.” It’s a running truth she uses on the show to address the topics on racism. She often quips, “See, this is why you always run these things by Jamal the Intern! He would’ve told you this wasn’t okay!”
It’s funny, but it’s true. Listen to Lonnie, because she’s right.
On that note, I hope this was helpful to you.
Will you be an agent for change in your community? Will you share this post with others and help make a difference?
PS, check out these posts for more inspiration:
20 Frugal Acts of Kindness That Can Help Change the World
4 Ways to Navigate Through Life Transitions
