3 Ways to Deal with Your Extrovert Coworkers that Won't Stop Talking to You

Introvert Q&A: My Extrovert coworkers won’t stop talking to me at work, how do I deal?

As an Introvert who survived the corporate world for over 13 years, I’ve definitely had my share of situations where my extrovert coworkers just did not care that I was an Introvert.

Being an Introvert in corporate life was a dichotomy of sorts. Like, it just doesn’t exist because it’s not acceptable for the two things to exist at the same time. Two opposite ends of the spectrum.

Therefore you must talk. Talk whether you feel like talking or not. Speak up in team meetings whether you had input or not.

Talk here, talk there, talk when you’re spoken to, initiate talks, participate in discussions and conferences.

The workplace for me was a never ending talk fest, whether I knew you or not, whether I trusted you or not, none of that mattered.

It’s survival of the fittest.

And by that, I mean, you better talk, or you will not have a job.

Only the strong survive, aka, only the extroverts survive. Even if you’re a temporary extrovert during work hours, it counted for something.

Workplaces can totally be an Introvert’s worst nightmare. Especially when they’re laden with extroverts and the extrovert ideal.

Talkative extroverts in the workplace = Drained Introvert Employees

There were many days I’d leave work so exhausted I had zero energy left for myself, let alone talking to my friends and family.

There were also many days that I had to overcome migraine headaches as a result of my job and how overwhelmingly spent I’d be from being around people, my job responsibilities and socially putting out beyond what I even had left to give.

This may sound like an extreme start to this conversation, but I think it’s important for people to understand just how social exhaustion can affect introverts. Extroverts need to know that just because you feel like talking, doesn’t mean we do.

It’s detrimental to an Introvert’s health to have good boundaries in place in our workplace in order to function and keep healthy minds, bodies and spirits. We want to do a good job, on our jobs.

My last blog post was an Introvert Q&A and I really enjoyed answering the Introvert question I found on reddit as a blog post.

Here’s the original reddit question if you’d like to read my original response directly related to the OP’s (Original Poster) specific question.

Here’s a summary of the question:

I’m an Introvert, and I am a nanny to a baby. Both of the babies’ parents work from home. They like to take breaks from their work and come talk to me all day long, including during my own break, which is two hours long during the baby’s nap. What should I do? I wish I were an extrovert.

In this post, below, I’ll sort of reword my answer and tailor it to work for any work environment.

So even if you’re not a nanny to a baby, like the OP, you can use some of my input on how to deal with talkative extrovert coworkers for your specific situation.

Look too busy to talk

Ah geez. The more I blog, the more nervous I get about giving away my secrets. BUT, I’m here to help.

And I’d rather know I’m helping you than keep information to myself that I know will do that.

So, back to my answer!

Yep, you read it right, look too busy to talk and hold a long conversation. Entertain the chats as best as you can, but don’t feel like you have to stop what you’re doing.

Just look busy!

Does this sound bad? OMG! I hope it doesn’t. But I know if you’re truly an Introvert, this will help you, and you’ll understand.

Talk to them but, just don’t stop what you’re doing. Even if you don’t have anything to do, find something.

Do the little things you never have time to do that you know you won’t mess up if you do them while you’re talking to someone. Just anything.

The busier you look, the bigger your chances are that they’ll leave you alone (at least that’s what we hope!)

If you don’t have a problem being direct and telling someone to leave you alone, good for you!

Tell them to hit the road and don’t let the door hit them where the good Lord split them! Okay no don’t tell them that, lol!

*I think it’s important to mention that I’m not talking about on the job training type situations. If you’re new to a job, you have to have some tact and wisdom with looking too busy to talk.

In some cases you have to establish yourself as a trusted employee before you exercise this. Hopefully you get what I mean, I’m not trying to get you fired! No ma’am, no sir. Mm mmm.*

Give some social energy, keep some social energy

Handle the part of extrovert coworkers talking to you while you’re working with grace and balance. Try to sprinkle in some days when you CAN give them all your attention while you work (but only if you have the energy).

It’s so important for you as an Introvert to keep your battery charged enough to give your work environment the best version of you.

If your coworkers are completely draining your battery, how can you do that?

You may be able to, but it’ll be verrry hard.

At the same time, relationships are give and take, even in the workplace. Believe it or not, there may be days when the table turns and you need them to listen to you talk about something.

You may (or may not, idunno) need them to be a listening ear about something that may concern you about your workplace, who knows, it could be anything.

For some people, they may feel like “why should I listen to her? She never listens to me.” And you definitely don’t want people to have that idea of you.

Just something to keep in mind. Remember to think of how you’d feel if the tables were turned sometimes.

Your ultimate secret talkative coworker weapon

When it comes to your lunch break, 2 hour baby nap break, or whatever type of extended break you have daily at your workplace, this is where you call in the big dogs: your earbuds. These babies are the golden ticket.

Earbuds have saved me from talkative coworkers that don’t really care if you feel like talking or not. As soon as breaktime begins, pop these bad boys in, grab a book, eat, work on your hobby, whatever you like to do during your break, do that.

Listen, THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE TO BE ON, just put them in your ears. If they try to talk to you, go ahead, pop one out, say what you need to say and hurry up and pop it back in. They will get the message eventually.

When they come around keep your head down, and do your thing, you don’t have to engage them. This is YOUR TIME.

Again, if you have no problem being direct and saying “hey listen, I’m on break. Talk to me when I get back,” then do that!

Do what works for you. Just know that any time off the job clock is YOUR TIME.

Hey did you know I wrote about more workforce tips and personal stories in my eBook? It’s called Life as a Quiet Introvert: Learning, Accepting and Being Comfortable With Who You Are. You can check it out here!