Hubby and I had a few long nights with a newborn, and we had finally come to the weekend, but it was a busy one.
We’d had a gig the night before, and then we had a birthday party to attend on this particular Saturday at a night spot.
I was also breastfeeding, so I was waking up every 3 hours at night to feed our new baby.
OMG, we were soooo exhausted!!!!
But we had to go to the party. We didn’t want to miss it, and we really did need a night out without the baby.
So we went.
And Scene: Tired New Parents Arrive at Party
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There was live music which we obviously love (we’re musicians/artists), and the food was awesome. I got to have some of my favorite foods: catfish, candied yams and mac & cheese. So it was a treat because I don’t really cook soul food much at home.
Hubby and I didn’t have much energy, so we just mainly sat and listened to the music, which was awesome because one of Detroit’s hottest bands was playing. It was nice to have a night out with family, music and good food.
We left the venue and on our drive to pick up our baby , I was scrolling through social media. I came across a post from someone we saw at the venue, and even had just spoken to on our way out the door. It’s not someone I know personally, but someone I see out and about around Detroit at events and on social media.
Here’s What the Post Said
The post said something to the effect of,
“People look so happy and in love on social media, but when you see them in person they look like they’re not even into each other. Don’t believe everything you see online.”
Now, typically things like this don’t strike me and I keep scrolling. I’m just not paying attention like that, there’s just not enough time in the day to read into every post people make.
But I just thought it was so odd that they posted this right after we left the venue. Literally right after we’d just spoken to them.
Plus, there weren’t really a lot of couples just sitting and watching, as there was a dance floor. Many people were up dancing, including this person. It was easy to see who wasn’t up being social, dancing and having guffaws of plenty.
So later that night I mentioned it to my Husband. I asked him if he saw this post. He said he did and I asked him if he thought it was about us?
I was shocked when he said he had the same exact thought, but who knows? He said he almost commented to be petty, haha! But he decided not to. Truthfully I almost did too, even though that’s not something I’d typically do.
But I didn’t.
Instead I’m writing a whole entire blog post about it! Gaah!
1. Think Before You Post
Firstly I think it’s important to think about what you post on social media before you post it. Think about how it may affect people. Sure it’s your page, your account, okay obvs yes.
But really, don’t be so selfish.
People will say, “Hey, if you don’t like what I post don’t follow me! I post what I want. It’s my page.”
Okaaaaay….yeah, nah. Just be kind.
Seriously.
We need more kindness in this world. And this is why I wrote a song about it!
This is a prime example! I thought it was so mean spirited!
If this was a topic you wanted to address, there are way nicer ways to talk about it than the way this person did.
You can make it a question or a topic for discussion. For example, hey what do you think of couples you see in person that don’t match the happiness you see on social media?
If you’re going to broach the subject, don’t be an a@%hole about it. Make it mean something. Open up a dialog about it.
There are so many other ways to talk about things like this on social media, if this is something you like posting about. Try another way if you must, and just be nice.
2. Be Aware That People Go Through Hard Times
Secondly, you just never know what people go through!
Be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle
~John Watson
Relationships are so hard. Whoever they were talking about could have been going through a difficult time. Maybe they just wanted to get out of the house for a while. Be around other people. Get out of their heads.
Maybe they wore their troubles on their face. Things happen all the time in life, and I just didn’t think it was fair to judge this couple entirely based on how they looked on a particular night. It doesn’t mean they aren’t in love or are not happy.
Think about the things people go through that they don’t tell anyone for various reasons. Personal losses, death of a loved one, health problems, all types of things they may not want people to know.
According to the CDC, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death here in the US. People are going through some really rough times, especially right now with Covid-19.
When in doubt, apply the golden rule;
Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you.
I’m quite certain you wouldn’t want to see a post like this if it was about you.
Have some empathy.
3. Take Time For a Little More Self Care
If you enjoy making critical posts about other people’s lives, it’s time to take inventory of yourself.
Are you getting enough self care?
Are you caring for your mental health?
Are you aware of your thought life?
One thing Joyce Meyer says that always sticks with me is to think about what you’re thinking about. It’s so true! If your over-riding thoughts are negative about yourself and others, take some time to sort through why that is.
Is there unresolved hurt in your heart?
Take some time to deal with that. Journal it out. Talk it out. Pray it out. Do whatever you have to do to make sure your heart is clear. Take time to heal.
Unresolved hurts can spew out to others as hurtful social media posts.
What’s in you will come out.
Take care of yourself. No one can deal with internal issues but you. Yet unfortunately all of us can become casualties of your verbal, emotional tongue lashings.
In conclusion, I don’t know who they were talking about.
Clearly I was triggered by this Facebook post for my own personal reasons. But that post may not have been about us. It could’ve been about anybody.
I’m writing a blog post about it in hopes that it will help to inspire someone to think before they post.
PS, check out these similar posts:
10 Inspirational Scripture Quotes on Kindness
20 Frugal Acts of Kindness That Can Help Change the World
This was totally on point! Thank you for sharing your story. I often wonder just in general why people look to social media to write or depict the story of people’s lives. Sure we share information on these platforms but it is not the complete picture of our lives. One problem I have with people who draw conclusions based off social media is the fact that no one actually has conversations anymore. We all have a story and if we took the time to be genuinely concerned or kind we could listen to another person’s story before drawing a picture of what their life is by a simple social media post. Great read!
Thank you so much for your feedback Nitasha! Exactly, social media is not a complete picture. It’s a great tool but we should be mindful of how we use it. Thanks so much for reading!