For the longest time, deep within my psyche sat this thought:
“Something’s wrong with me because I’m a quiet Introvert.”
It sat there, humming and purring like a sitting engine. It was like the undercurrent that constantly pushed and pulled and lulled me through each day.
“Something’s wrong with me,” hummed through me on the playground in elementary school, when all the kids would go off in groups together. Playing on the monkey bars, or hopscotching in groups of three, four, and five or more. I’d just kinda do my own thing until I was invited to play in one of the groups.
“Something’s wrong with me,” hummed and purred through me in middle school, during lunch time. When kids would group together at tables with their friends. The popular kids sat together, the not as popular sat together. Then you have the displaced loners who sat together because, well, I guess we were alone together.
I praised the days when we’d get to go to the library for half of our lunch to read books. No need for the pressure of awkward socializing when I could dive into a fascinating world that wasn’t my own. A world of imagination and stories of different people, places and things.
“Something’s wrong with me,” purred and hissed through me in high school every time a boy called me “quiet girl,” or “mute.” I couldn’t decipher if they were flirting or poking fun. But it hurt all the same.
Something must be wrong with me. Hummmm, hummm…
“Something’s wrong with me,” buzzzzzed through me in the most extroverted accomplishments, singing a solo in church or at school. Or doing speeches in Speech Class. Even being a Radio DJ (voluntarily) on the school radio station, 88.3 WSHJ, where I played my own Gospel CDs because the school didn’t have any. Or starting a Gospel Choir at my high school with permission from my music teacher.
I’m quiet. I’m shy.
I must have low self esteem.
Something’s wrong with me.
I’ve been on large stages and sang in front of huge audiences, and small audiences alike.
In my music career I’ve done radio interviews, directed choirs in my church and in college, organized band rehearsals, lead worship teams. I mean, I’ve even managed an entire 170,000 square foot building in my career in Property Management!
I’ve done plenty of things that have shown me and others alike that I’m a natural leader.
I (and you) have the ability to do hard things.
Things that require me to not be shy and introverted, in order to lead a team.
So, what exactly IS wrong with me?
The same thing that’s wrong with you.
Absolutely. Nothing.
Nothing is wrong with you if you’re an introvert.
You are not less than.
It doesn’t mean you have low self esteem. It doesn’t mean you can’t be a leader.
Being an introvert is a natural tendency to be reserserved.
Quiet does not equal low self esteem. Quiet equals quiet.
It’s okay to be quiet. If you’ve never heard someone say that to you, please let these words settle into your heart.
IT’S OKAY TO BE A QUIET PERSON.
You must come out of your shell. You can’t be quiet. Don’t be shy.
Believe me I’ve heard it. I’ve heard it all my life.
But what I can tell you is, I don’t have low self esteem. I’m not fearful, not more than the average human.
I have a quiet temperament. And it’s really okay!
Is there a balance that needs to take place between being quiet and being extroverted? Yes. There are times when being quiet isn’t an option. For example if you’re being abused, or someone is hurting you physically, mentally or otherwise. Those are not times to be quiet.
BUT, the basic premise I want every Introvert to know.
Deep down within.
Is that there is nothing wrong with you. God made you the way you are for a reason. Yes, you are different, and so is everyone else in the world. We are all unique individuals!
Sometimes it takes some time to understand yourself, and that’s normal. But in the meantime, know that it’s okay to be you.
PS, Check out some of my related posts:
They Used to Tease Me and Call Me a Mute: A Guide for Introverts
Being an Introvert: The Most Awkward Time at Events for Introverts
